1. We Accept Everything Natural Unless It’s Kinda Gay

    We as a people embrace Mother Nature’s gifts and the natural beauty of the world even though we are coming up with new technologies everyday. When looking upon one of Mother Nature’s gifts with awe, such as a beautiful scene of distant mountains and green pastures with the breeze blowing through our chemically treated hair, just filter out the few homosexual rams. It would ruin the picture as would the other 1,500 known species to practice this behavior. 

    We must continue to follow the rule laid out in a book written 2000 years ago even though it was actually a mistranslation. The intent of the book was to simply say don’t copulate with another person in some lady’s bed, that’s rude. In our infinite wisdom it was translated as don’t sleep with someone of the same sex. This the same book that says that if you rape someone all you need to do is pay their father 50 pieces of silver. How dare we defy the logic of such a renowned and holy text. The interpretation carried so much power as to push those who think otherwise into a closet, explaining why homosexual individuals are so fabulously dressed when they come out.

    Getting back to the 1,500 species in nature, I have never witnessed another animal avoid one of their own because of their sexual tendency or orientation. Only the human with it’s talents, innovations, and their advanced intellect can be found running from a room when witnessing two persons of the same sex sharing a chaste kiss. And in some cases legislating against it. Protect your children, avoid the “mommies” at the daycare and the “daddies” at the grocery store. We preach that kids need to grow up with two wedded parents in the house, but now we have to make sure they’re two people who don’t have the same naughty parts. That would be gross and hard to explain.

    No kid really cares who has what sexual organs at their soccer game as long as they show up and cheer them on, preferable sober and not embarrassing them by picking a fight with the coach or the ref. Most kids like to believe their parents don’t have sex in the first place. I mean do you want to imagine your parents doing the nasty one bedroom down from you? It should be left unsaid that if you said yes to that question, you have a problem. Please, get help for that.

    The fact of the matter is people love who they love, wouldn’t it be better to love them in the bedroom instead of the closet? I’m sure it’s more comfortable.

    Okay this is my first attempt at writing a satire piece. And before I start having people online yell at me for being a bigot SATIRE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SARCASTIC AND IRONIC.
    I highly support gay rights, I mean I’m a pansexual ftm trans. What do you expect? So yeah I really enjoyed writing this I even made myself crack up a few times, I hope you enjoy.
    I don’t mind if you post this else were or send it to somebody to show them but please give me credit I worked really hard on this.

    ignoranthipster:

    Disney gender swaps by Sakimi Chan

    (Source: likeafireonpavement, via commander-farron)

  2. lonelylil-cal:

    irishblond:

    A buddy of mine on Syndrone had never seen a boy twerk before and asked me if I could make a gif of myself twerking to show him and now my butt is going viral on the site. A handful of people are using the gif in their post signatures and I think I’m gonna die laughing because theres just an endless page of me twerking.

    I’m now known as Twerking Max.

    TWERK IT BABEH , LOOKIN HAWT. oh lawdeh makin me die

    Hey Sen ya know what makes it better? That gif is slowed down

  3. A buddy of mine on Syndrone had never seen a boy twerk before and asked me if I could make a gif of myself twerking to show him and now my butt is going viral on the site. A handful of people are using the gif in their post signatures and I think I’m gonna die laughing because theres just an endless page of me twerking.

    I’m now known as Twerking Max.

  4. sunsetagain:

    Captain & Winter Soldier

    (via lwaxana)

  5. JUST WATCHED THE WINTER SOLDIER AND NATASHA IS WEARING AN ARROW NECKLACE THE ENTIRE TIME IM SORRY BUT THE A DEFINITELY BANGING

  6. Hey guys I might not be on tumblr very much for a bit got stuff I need to sort out and I’m just busy but if you want to know what I’m up to you can follow my twitter @BagOfDickJokes since I’m on there daily.

  7. maikujakus:

    maikujakus:

    i’m going in

    I’M gE TTINg OU T

    (Source: kiinagase, via turntechsbiologist)

  8. bokunodanieru:

    thevoicecalledcheesecake:

    I would never let my kids watch the orchestra, too much sax and violins.

  9. saasu:

    i cant draw tinkerbull

    (via grim-dark-adrenaline)

  10. thewhitegirlismyspiritanimal:

    reblogging your own post

    image

    (Source: greenmariosmansion, via grlmdarkness)

    hannahcarbons:

    kyleboy21da:

    theletterwsarseflap:

    awkwardbirds:

    rinlockhart:

    ridiculously-dilettantish:

    strange-is-a-compliment:

    I always wanted these to happen in real life

    Where is “Several bad puns later”?

    we need more!

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    Spongebob time cards are solid gold.

    (via turntechsbiologist)

  11. who-locked-me-out-of-hogwarts:

    i walk a lonely road the only one that i have ever known

    (Source: gaayybriel, via turntechsbiologist)

  12. bloodcaste:

    bloodcaste:

    i have zero patience for these things:

    • slow internet
    • 14 year olds who think theyre edgy bc they smoke weed on weekends
    • bronies
    • screaming babies

    image

    AW SHIT SON

    (via turntechsbiologist)

    tsubasa92:

    my cousin loves puns

    (via lonefoxtess)